Single Moms Teaming Up to Co-buy Homes
At times when it may feel like everything is falling apart, single mothers are finding a new way to come together. Single mothers are increasingly teaming up to live together and co-buy homes together in communes—or, as some women call them, “mommunes.”
The rule book for single motherhood usually reads something like this: when facing job losses or marriages falling apart, the woman stays divorced and stays in the house or buys another house. That is until she dates, falls in love again, gets married or blends families. But women are showing that there can be more than one path forward.
One of these women is Kristin Batykefer, who was recently profiled in the New York Times. Batykefer lost her job, her marriage fell apart, and she had no income and nowhere to go. To help her get back on her feet, two family friends invited Batykefer and her 4-year-old daughter to stay in their four-bedroom home. Then, Batykefer’s best friend also went through a divorce and came to live in the same house, along with her two children.
The arrangement has provided a “support system like no other,” said Batykefer. In times of rising costs of living and reduced childcare options, it can take a village. This arrangement allows the women to share the load of raising children and split the household bills.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 80% of single-parent families are headed by single mothers. Single mothers are far more likely to experience poverty, lack of emotional support, psychological distress, and role strain. Role strain is stress when a person cannot fulfill the many responsibilities required by their societal role.
While Batykefer moved into a family home for now, some women are taking it further and pooling their resources to co-buy homes. Buying a home offers economic mobility, which is often taken away when relationships fall apart.
Two such women are Holly Harper, a marketing executive, and Herrin Hopper, an attorney. During the pandemic, both were newly divorced, working remotely, and managing their children’s virtual school from tiny apartments in the Washington D.C. area. However, something gnawed at them. They felt like going alone was an increasingly uphill battle. Instead, they changed course, pooled their financial resources, and bought an $835,000 fourplex in a D.C. suburb.
“We want our kids to be safe and [for us to have the] support we deserve as humans. The economic linchpin of that is real estate,” Harper told the New York Times. “The most logical thing in the world is to share.”
The women have since bought a second property nearby, intending to rent it to other single parents. They will offer a purchasing model to help single parents build equity after divorce.
As for Batykefer and her friend, they also don’t plan to stay in their family friend’s home forever. They plan to buy and remodel a home of their own in the next year.
How to make it work
In an Insider article, Harper offered advice on how to make it work when co-buying a home with another single mother. They say to approach it like choosing a platonic spouse.
- Ensure your values align in many categories, like politics, parenting style, finances, and lifestyle.
- Agree on what type of house you want. Do you want a multifamily property or a single-family home?
- Agree on what’s important. Is it essential to be within walking distance of public transit? In a safe neighborhood for the kids to play? Near good schools?
- Set your maximum budget together and begin the home search.
- Have an operating agreement and perhaps even a sub-agreement, but please consult with an attorney to determine what is best for your situation.
What are the benefits?
When teaming up to co-buy homes, single mothers realize the many benefits—for themselves and their children. Some include:
- Car sharing and carpooling
- Sharing childcare watching and dog-walking
- Sharing expenses
- Sharing chores
- Feeling a sense of community and having friends to talk to in good times and bad
- Children having playmates and a buddy system
- Children experiencing diverse perspectives on how people navigate tough, real-life situations
- Economic mobility and the opportunity to pursue wealth through homeownership
Co-owning a home helps alleviate many of the concerns of being a single mother, such as stability and isolation. A growing number of women are rewriting the traditional ways of homeownership, and they are transforming their lives and their children’s lives along the way. By pooling their resources, single mothers can live a life of comfort that extends to their children, with various amenities that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. It’s all thanks to the power of co-buying.
Nestment, Inc. does not guarantee and is in no way responsible for the accuracy of the information provided in this blog post. All information is provided “AS IS” and with all faults. Data presented here may not reflect all real estate activity in the market. While the information on this site is about legal and tax issues, it is not intended as legal or tax advice or as a substitute for the particularized advice of your own attorney and tax professional.
